I guess the title says it all. In all honesty, I'm more relieved than anything. I saw my father last on November 1st. I tried to encourage him to stay positive but he replied, "Every time I try to think positively, it just seems like I run into set backs. It's as though I shouldn't even try to be positive. All I wanted was to die quickly and painlessly. I can't even succeed at that." My father was a broken man in life and he wasted away in pain during his last months. For whatever he suffered in life, I hope he is happy in the afterlife. Rest in peace, Dad.
Right now, I'm struggling with the conflict between juggling family/cultural obligations vs. financial responsibility. For example, I suspect that my father's brother (my uncle) wants my father's ashes to be buried in the family plot in the old country. I'm not certain, but it appears that the Buddhist Temple would require a yearly maintenance fee or rent that could potentially cost anywhere between $200 - $1,000/year. My mother also believes we need to go back to the old country to hold a memorial for my father's family. The travel costs during the holiday + memorial costs (feeding my father's extended family) could easily run $20,000.
I hate to think of my father in terms of dollar-and-cents, but is it really my burden to carry on this potentially never-ending financial obligation, especially when my father didn't plan for it himself? Am I a bad daughter for even thinking in these terms?
I also feel guilty for feeling grateful that my father passed away before his term life insurance lapsed. This means we'll have some money (~$200k) to hold in trust for my mother in the event she needs to go into an assisted living facility. I'm glad my sister and I had the foresight to file my parent's bankruptcy so that this life insurance money can be preserved for the care of my mother.
There's just something tasteless about not wanting to do something for a deceased parent due to money. But at the same time, I need to do what's financially responsible for me. Where do I draw the line? What are my filial duties and obligations? Perhaps this is one of those questions that have no right-or-wrong answers.
Showing posts with label Confession. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Confession. Show all posts
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Re-Evaluating My Life
To those of you who’ve expressed concern about my extended absence, thank you.
Since February, I’ve been flying back and forth to my parents’ place to take my father to his various doctors’ appointments. I’ve been depressed due to what I’ve been slowly learning about my parents.
During my visits, both my mother and my father take turns telling me how much they despise one another. My father actively calls my mother “The Monkey,” and refuses to acknowledge her presence or to speak to her. My mother still cooks, cleans and launders for my father, but nothing more. Both are mired in self-pity and have concluded that they are just “unlucky” people. It's just sad and frustrating to see how these people are actively choosing to be miserable during their last days/months/years of their lives. Neither have accepted any responsibility for their current miserable lot in life.
The silver lining in all of this though, is that I had the epiphany that I love my life. I don't want to squander it. I guess you could say that I am lucky to be observing a real-life “what-not-to-do-with-your-life” example first-hand. I've decided to step back and take stock of my life.
I have so much to say, yet it's hard to put down in writing, since I am experiencing a gamut of emotions simultaneously. Once I can get my thoughts organized, I will post bit-by-bit. Stay tuned.
Since February, I’ve been flying back and forth to my parents’ place to take my father to his various doctors’ appointments. I’ve been depressed due to what I’ve been slowly learning about my parents.
During my visits, both my mother and my father take turns telling me how much they despise one another. My father actively calls my mother “The Monkey,” and refuses to acknowledge her presence or to speak to her. My mother still cooks, cleans and launders for my father, but nothing more. Both are mired in self-pity and have concluded that they are just “unlucky” people. It's just sad and frustrating to see how these people are actively choosing to be miserable during their last days/months/years of their lives. Neither have accepted any responsibility for their current miserable lot in life.
The silver lining in all of this though, is that I had the epiphany that I love my life. I don't want to squander it. I guess you could say that I am lucky to be observing a real-life “what-not-to-do-with-your-life” example first-hand. I've decided to step back and take stock of my life.
I have so much to say, yet it's hard to put down in writing, since I am experiencing a gamut of emotions simultaneously. Once I can get my thoughts organized, I will post bit-by-bit. Stay tuned.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Drawing The Line In the Sand With My Parents
Sorry for the extended absence. I've been dealing with family issues. I am just very angry and frustrated right now. The day that I've always dreaded is upon me.
My father, who suffers from dementia, recently crashed and totaled his car. The good news: he only caused property damage and didn't kill or injure anyone. He's a bit bruised and scratched, but relatively unhurt.
The bad news: My parents still owe $7,000 on the car and it's totaled. Additionally, I'm worried that the insurance company will deny the claim based upon the fact that his physical impairments were never disclosed. I'm also concerned that Medicare won't cover all or some of his hospital stay.
Although my parents won't admit it, they are looking for a bail-out from my sister and me. And I'm not just talking about a financial bail-out. During this ordeal, my mother expected my sister, who now lives in a neighboring city (approx. 45 minutes away), to serve as her personal chauffeur, since she refuses to rent a car to drive herself around. My sister, as a result, has had to spend entire weekends and time off of work to deal with my parents' affairs, including, dealing with doctors, insurance company, the impound lot, etc.
When my sister and I asked my mother why she would allow my father to drive in his condition, she said he looked forward to driving on the weekends. He would have fought her attempts to prevent him from driving. She said he was beyond her control.
As you can expect, my mother does not take to my sister and my questioning her very kindly. She is very defensive and mired in self-pity. She refuses to take any responsibility for any of her failures, her lack of initiative, her lack of motivation, etc. A prime example of one of my mother's failure includes her refusal to learn to speak or write English fluently although she's lived in this country for 40 years. She blames this failure on her "sacrifice" for her family. She also blames her parents for "forcing" her to marry a "loser" like my dad. (I just find it difficult to believe that if she totally despised my father back then as she claims, she would have had two children with the man. But I digress.)
My mother complained of my father's lack of self-reliance. When I pointed our her hypocrisy, her emotions ran the gamut of anger, self-pity, defeatist and accusatory. Some of the things she said included:
My sister and I agreed that we are going to make our father voluntarily relinquish his driver's license. He will no longer be allowed to drive. Hopefully, with this accident, my father will agree without a fuss.
My mother now claims she is "too scared" to drive. My parents live in the desert, which means that during the summer, it would be very difficult for them to get around without a car. I told my mother, "If you choose not to drive, that's your decision. But you shouldn't expect my sister to chauffeur you around." (Of course, my mother took offense to this.)
In the event that my parents' auto insurance denies their claim, my sister and I agreed that we will not pay off their car loan or any judgment from the property damage. My parents will need to file for bankruptcy and have their credit cards taken away.
I am also considering exercising my power of attorney and taking control of my parents' finances. For once, perhaps, my sister and I can force them to live within their means.
I'll be traveling back-and-forth to my parents' and I will be taking a break while my sister and I sort through my parents' affairs.
My father, who suffers from dementia, recently crashed and totaled his car. The good news: he only caused property damage and didn't kill or injure anyone. He's a bit bruised and scratched, but relatively unhurt.
The bad news: My parents still owe $7,000 on the car and it's totaled. Additionally, I'm worried that the insurance company will deny the claim based upon the fact that his physical impairments were never disclosed. I'm also concerned that Medicare won't cover all or some of his hospital stay.
Although my parents won't admit it, they are looking for a bail-out from my sister and me. And I'm not just talking about a financial bail-out. During this ordeal, my mother expected my sister, who now lives in a neighboring city (approx. 45 minutes away), to serve as her personal chauffeur, since she refuses to rent a car to drive herself around. My sister, as a result, has had to spend entire weekends and time off of work to deal with my parents' affairs, including, dealing with doctors, insurance company, the impound lot, etc.
When my sister and I asked my mother why she would allow my father to drive in his condition, she said he looked forward to driving on the weekends. He would have fought her attempts to prevent him from driving. She said he was beyond her control.
As you can expect, my mother does not take to my sister and my questioning her very kindly. She is very defensive and mired in self-pity. She refuses to take any responsibility for any of her failures, her lack of initiative, her lack of motivation, etc. A prime example of one of my mother's failure includes her refusal to learn to speak or write English fluently although she's lived in this country for 40 years. She blames this failure on her "sacrifice" for her family. She also blames her parents for "forcing" her to marry a "loser" like my dad. (I just find it difficult to believe that if she totally despised my father back then as she claims, she would have had two children with the man. But I digress.)
My mother complained of my father's lack of self-reliance. When I pointed our her hypocrisy, her emotions ran the gamut of anger, self-pity, defeatist and accusatory. Some of the things she said included:
- "Oh, now I see you and your sister just want your dad and me dead!"
- "Fine! I won't EVER ask you or your sister for help!" (I rolled my eyes with this one.)
- "I've done NOTHING wrong in my life to deserve this!"
- "I've sacrificed EVERYTHING for you girls and this is how you treat me!"
- "I've done EVERYTHING to not burden you girls, and there's NOTHING more I can do."
- "Don't you see that being a burden to you girls is tearing me apart?"
- "I just pray for death everyday!"
My sister and I agreed that we are going to make our father voluntarily relinquish his driver's license. He will no longer be allowed to drive. Hopefully, with this accident, my father will agree without a fuss.
My mother now claims she is "too scared" to drive. My parents live in the desert, which means that during the summer, it would be very difficult for them to get around without a car. I told my mother, "If you choose not to drive, that's your decision. But you shouldn't expect my sister to chauffeur you around." (Of course, my mother took offense to this.)
In the event that my parents' auto insurance denies their claim, my sister and I agreed that we will not pay off their car loan or any judgment from the property damage. My parents will need to file for bankruptcy and have their credit cards taken away.
I am also considering exercising my power of attorney and taking control of my parents' finances. For once, perhaps, my sister and I can force them to live within their means.
I'll be traveling back-and-forth to my parents' and I will be taking a break while my sister and I sort through my parents' affairs.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Today's Schadenfriday
Schadenfreude [shahd-n-froi-duh]
def: Satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune.
[Origin: 1890–95; G, equiv. to Schaden harm + Freude joy]
I'm feeling a bit masochistic today so I'm going to confess a sickening financial mistake I made.
I just discovered that back in 1999, I consolidated my Federal Student loans into a graduated repayment payment plan at 2.23% APR. Under the graduated plan, I had to pay a minimum amount equal to the amount of interest accrued monthly for up to 30 years. My payments start out low and then increased every two years.
What, in my moment of brilliance did I do in 2006? I re-consolidated the loan to a 5.125% APR extended repayment plan. I chose the fixed monthly payment plan under which I would pay the same amount for up to 25 years.
What's bad about this whole thing is that I'm not sure why I re-consolidated back in 2006 to a higher APR. I suspect that I wanted the assurance of a fixed payment, versus an adjustable plan where my payments will gradually increase every two years.
But seriously, I voluntarily went from a 2.23% APR to 5.125% APR? I didn't have the foresight or intelligence to stick with the original plan and just pay ahead? Sheesh. Give me the bonehead award.
It makes me sick to my stomach that I was so clueless about my financial situation and I made serious, long-term decisions so casually and willy-nilly. I guess the silver-lining to this is that I've changed my ways and hopefully, I won't be making stupid mistakes like this in the near future.
Anyhow, it's been raining cats and dogs here. Too bad it's not raining men. :-D
Have a great weekend!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
My New Resolution to Declutter and Stop Hoarding
I got a gift of a small jar of caviar this Christmas and I’ve been savoring its briny, popping goodness little-by-little, until I came near the bottom of the jar the other night. There was probably less than a teaspoonful left when I said to myself, "Better save that for later." And then I paused and thought to myself, "Save it for later for what? Why not just finish it off now?"
You may find this odd, but something clicked inside my head at that very moment. It was indeed a strange, "lightbulb" moment where I vowed to declutter, stop hoarding and stop purchasing stuff I don’t intend to consume immediately.
Bear with me while I digress a bit. My thoughts aren’t necessarily organized since this self-realization is a cumulation of recent events.
This past Christmas, my family and I went to IKEA to look for some furniture for my sister’s new house. While we were wandering through the store, my father noticed a small box of pencils provided by IKEA for its customers to mark down merchandise numbers. I watched my father take a couple of pencils and stuff them in his pants. At the next pencil box, I watched my father take another couple pencils. I stepped in front of my father when he gleefully tried to make a beeline towards the next pencil box. I said, "You’ve had enough. Don’t take anymore." Taken aback, my father mumbled, "Oh, okay." My sister was more direct, "Put them back." My father refused.
My mother told my sister and me that my father’s been doing this for years. He brings home buckets of golf balls from the golf range, toilet paper/tissue boxes from hotel rooms, fist-full of mints from restaurants, blankets from airplanes, etc. When my mother told my father to stop, he became belligerent and obstinate so she’s since stopped trying. She sighed and said he probably committed thievery during the war, during his poverty-stricken youth. He stopped as he matured and dug himself out of poverty. But now, with his dementia clouding his common sense and judgment, he’s reverted back to his old habits.
This made me wonder whether some trauma in our life causes long-lasting behavioral problems. I wonder, since over the years, I’ve developed one particularly disgusting habit - - I hoard.
Note: Not my fridge.
I think my own personal "trauma" started several years ago, when I maxed out my credit card and got rejected for a new one. I was a week away from payday, had nothing in my savings or checking, had no money or credit to buy groceries. For a couple of days, I survived on stale bread and Top Ramen I bought from God-knows-when. Thank goodness I had a pre-paid business trip that week, where food and drinks would be provided by my employer. I guess you could say I had a Scarlett O’Hara moment where I vowed, "I’ll never go hungry again!"
Now, I realize that I’m being over-dramatic about what happened. I had other options besides going hungry. I could’ve easily called my friends or sister for some money. But I just couldn’t bring myself to admit to my friends and family how bad of a financial situation I was in. I guess you could say my false pride traumatized me.
Ever since then, I’ve been telling myself to, "Save that for later. I may need it." Over the years, my freezer’s been stuffed with items that I’ve "saved for later." If you look in my freezer today, you’ll find bag of chicken wings that has one drummette, a bag of pita with couple of pockets, a box of pyrogies with 2 dumplings, a 1/4 bag of hashbrowns, etc., etc. You get the idea. Many items are so freezer-burned that they’re now inedible. What I've saved for later, that "later" never came.
My closet is similar. I’ve got clothes dating back to when I was in college that I can't/won't wear anymore. Yet somewhere in my mind, "I may need it for later." I somehow can't bring myself to donate something I haven't worn in over a decade.
It made me sad to see my father as a petty thief. Since I’ve also inherited a lot of physical characteristics from my father - - my looks, dark complexion, my curly hair, my asthma, etc. - - I am petrified that I will one day become like him. There's nothing much I can do about genetics but I know I can change my habits and way of thinking. I am hoping that if I make an ongoing and concerted effort now to stop hoarding and completely consume what I buy, I may not end up like my dad or those sad people you see on A&E's show, "Hoarders."
I'm slowly cleaning out my freezer. I've been tossing out items that are completely overtaken by freezer-burn and finishing off what's still edible. I've also cleaned out two bagfuls of clothes and shoes out of my closet. And I still have more to go. This will be a work-in-progress that will take weeks, if not months, to accomplish.
Anyhow, going back to the caviar - - I scooped out the final teaspoon and ate it all. And it was the best tasting part.
You may find this odd, but something clicked inside my head at that very moment. It was indeed a strange, "lightbulb" moment where I vowed to declutter, stop hoarding and stop purchasing stuff I don’t intend to consume immediately.
Bear with me while I digress a bit. My thoughts aren’t necessarily organized since this self-realization is a cumulation of recent events.
This past Christmas, my family and I went to IKEA to look for some furniture for my sister’s new house. While we were wandering through the store, my father noticed a small box of pencils provided by IKEA for its customers to mark down merchandise numbers. I watched my father take a couple of pencils and stuff them in his pants. At the next pencil box, I watched my father take another couple pencils. I stepped in front of my father when he gleefully tried to make a beeline towards the next pencil box. I said, "You’ve had enough. Don’t take anymore." Taken aback, my father mumbled, "Oh, okay." My sister was more direct, "Put them back." My father refused.
My mother told my sister and me that my father’s been doing this for years. He brings home buckets of golf balls from the golf range, toilet paper/tissue boxes from hotel rooms, fist-full of mints from restaurants, blankets from airplanes, etc. When my mother told my father to stop, he became belligerent and obstinate so she’s since stopped trying. She sighed and said he probably committed thievery during the war, during his poverty-stricken youth. He stopped as he matured and dug himself out of poverty. But now, with his dementia clouding his common sense and judgment, he’s reverted back to his old habits.
This made me wonder whether some trauma in our life causes long-lasting behavioral problems. I wonder, since over the years, I’ve developed one particularly disgusting habit - - I hoard.
Note: Not my fridge.I think my own personal "trauma" started several years ago, when I maxed out my credit card and got rejected for a new one. I was a week away from payday, had nothing in my savings or checking, had no money or credit to buy groceries. For a couple of days, I survived on stale bread and Top Ramen I bought from God-knows-when. Thank goodness I had a pre-paid business trip that week, where food and drinks would be provided by my employer. I guess you could say I had a Scarlett O’Hara moment where I vowed, "I’ll never go hungry again!"
Now, I realize that I’m being over-dramatic about what happened. I had other options besides going hungry. I could’ve easily called my friends or sister for some money. But I just couldn’t bring myself to admit to my friends and family how bad of a financial situation I was in. I guess you could say my false pride traumatized me.
Ever since then, I’ve been telling myself to, "Save that for later. I may need it." Over the years, my freezer’s been stuffed with items that I’ve "saved for later." If you look in my freezer today, you’ll find bag of chicken wings that has one drummette, a bag of pita with couple of pockets, a box of pyrogies with 2 dumplings, a 1/4 bag of hashbrowns, etc., etc. You get the idea. Many items are so freezer-burned that they’re now inedible. What I've saved for later, that "later" never came.
My closet is similar. I’ve got clothes dating back to when I was in college that I can't/won't wear anymore. Yet somewhere in my mind, "I may need it for later." I somehow can't bring myself to donate something I haven't worn in over a decade.
It made me sad to see my father as a petty thief. Since I’ve also inherited a lot of physical characteristics from my father - - my looks, dark complexion, my curly hair, my asthma, etc. - - I am petrified that I will one day become like him. There's nothing much I can do about genetics but I know I can change my habits and way of thinking. I am hoping that if I make an ongoing and concerted effort now to stop hoarding and completely consume what I buy, I may not end up like my dad or those sad people you see on A&E's show, "Hoarders."
I'm slowly cleaning out my freezer. I've been tossing out items that are completely overtaken by freezer-burn and finishing off what's still edible. I've also cleaned out two bagfuls of clothes and shoes out of my closet. And I still have more to go. This will be a work-in-progress that will take weeks, if not months, to accomplish.
Anyhow, going back to the caviar - - I scooped out the final teaspoon and ate it all. And it was the best tasting part.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Crash Diets Are Easy. Lifestyle Changes Are Hard.
Sorry for the lack of posts this week. Like most people, I gained an extra 5 lbs during the holidays. (The gift baskets, chocolates and other goodies we received at work from vendors haven't helped.) I've been trying to make a "lifestyle change" by incorporating exercise and healthy eating habits into my daily routine. When all I've been doing the past couple of years is sitting on my keister in front of the TV or computer, this change takes a bit of getting used to. I'm trying to get the hang of my new regimen and schedule.
I've been easing myself into a new lifestyle that is a compromise of eating/exercising moderately while very occasionally indulging in the so-called "bad" stuff. I know I won't lose weight quickly this way, but this is the only way to go. After all, I know myself - - I know I'll stick to a crash diet and exercise only for the short term because: (a) I'm a yo-yo dieter, (b) I hate exercising and (c) I love to eat, especially deep fried, salty, fatty foods. I'd rather try to aim for a lifestyle that may not be the paragon of health but is at least do-able for the long-term.
Just as much as I don't care for the boot camp-style crash diet and exercise, I don't care for the crash-elimination of my debts either. I'd rather attack my debts at a steady pace while trying to maintain a financially responsible lifestyle. (Keyword: trying.)
I bring this up only because I was pondering whether I should use my recent windfall to pay off a significant chunk of my private student loans. After careful consideration, I've opted not to do so based purely for psychological reasons, not economic.
I have a masochistic need to self-flagellate myself for the debt I've gotten myself into. Paying off a significant portion (over 50%) of my private student loans in one fell swoop with a windfall feels like cheating. Kind of like a weight-loss contestant who uses diuretics right before his/her weigh-in. I know, I know - - The analogy is not perfect. But just as water weight will inevitably return, I'm afraid that debt paid off with "easy money" will just as easily come back in a different form. I've witnessed too many people who "pay off" their debts by using inheritance money or refinancing their homes, only to get right back into debt. I have a deep seated fear that I will be one of them.
As you know, I fell off my snowball plan in October when I paid off my credit card debt. I spent money freely in November (and especially) December, knowing that I was going to come into the windfall. I have yet to get back to my frugal ways. I feel I haven't demonstrated to myself that I am financially responsible. Until I do so, I think it would be best not to put my debts on a crash diet. Instead, I'm sending my windfall to my savings account to gain some fat.
I've been easing myself into a new lifestyle that is a compromise of eating/exercising moderately while very occasionally indulging in the so-called "bad" stuff. I know I won't lose weight quickly this way, but this is the only way to go. After all, I know myself - - I know I'll stick to a crash diet and exercise only for the short term because: (a) I'm a yo-yo dieter, (b) I hate exercising and (c) I love to eat, especially deep fried, salty, fatty foods. I'd rather try to aim for a lifestyle that may not be the paragon of health but is at least do-able for the long-term.
Just as much as I don't care for the boot camp-style crash diet and exercise, I don't care for the crash-elimination of my debts either. I'd rather attack my debts at a steady pace while trying to maintain a financially responsible lifestyle. (Keyword: trying.)
I bring this up only because I was pondering whether I should use my recent windfall to pay off a significant chunk of my private student loans. After careful consideration, I've opted not to do so based purely for psychological reasons, not economic.
I have a masochistic need to self-flagellate myself for the debt I've gotten myself into. Paying off a significant portion (over 50%) of my private student loans in one fell swoop with a windfall feels like cheating. Kind of like a weight-loss contestant who uses diuretics right before his/her weigh-in. I know, I know - - The analogy is not perfect. But just as water weight will inevitably return, I'm afraid that debt paid off with "easy money" will just as easily come back in a different form. I've witnessed too many people who "pay off" their debts by using inheritance money or refinancing their homes, only to get right back into debt. I have a deep seated fear that I will be one of them.
As you know, I fell off my snowball plan in October when I paid off my credit card debt. I spent money freely in November (and especially) December, knowing that I was going to come into the windfall. I have yet to get back to my frugal ways. I feel I haven't demonstrated to myself that I am financially responsible. Until I do so, I think it would be best not to put my debts on a crash diet. Instead, I'm sending my windfall to my savings account to gain some fat.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Penny-wise, Pound-foolishness Strikes Again
I was meeting a friend for drinks in La Jolla couple of weeks ago. I didn't plan to spend more than an hour drinking, so I decided to park on the street rather than pay $10 for parking. I'm sure you've already guessed, I overstayed by about a couple of hours.
When I got back to my car, I was relieved that I hadn't been ticketed. *SCORE!*
But... Over the weekend, I just got in the mail couple of tickets totaling $80. *OUCH*
Stupid, stupid, stupid. I hate paying for the "privilege" of parking, but I hate paying for parking tickets even more. Especially when they're 800% more expensive.
When I got back to my car, I was relieved that I hadn't been ticketed. *SCORE!*
But... Over the weekend, I just got in the mail couple of tickets totaling $80. *OUCH*
Stupid, stupid, stupid. I hate paying for the "privilege" of parking, but I hate paying for parking tickets even more. Especially when they're 800% more expensive.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Nobody Should Ever Wish On Their Deathbead That They Spent More Time At Work
A short while back, J. Money posted a cute story about an American Businessman's enlightenment about the balance between work and personal life.
An Anonymous commenter posted: "It seems like the old myth that no one on their death bed ever wished they'd spent more time at the office. The sad truth is that millions have reached the end of their life, locked away in some Dickensian nursing home, thinking to themselves - 'Hum, I really wish I would have tried harder to make something of myself.'"
Interesting, since I've come to the opposite conclusion, especially from my dealings with my dad.
My dad's an "old-school" man, stuck in the custom and culture of the old country. He was never active in my life, other than to provide (i.e. pay for) shelter, food, education and other necessities. When I was an infant, he rarely (if ever) changed my diapers or fed me. When I was a child, he never played with me or took interest in my personal life. I doubt he was ever able to name any of my teachers or my friends. He delegated my entire upbringing to my mom.
Anyhow, my dad was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment several years ago and my parents are emotionally, if not geographically, estranged from each other. Notwithstanding the emotional alienation, my mother still performs basic caregiving functions for my dad such as preparing meals, laundering and cleaning. As a result, mother is suffering from caretaker fatigue and resents my father.
I get stressed and depressed when my dad is around too. My dad claims he is starving for conversation. Yet I have nothing to say to him and he has nothing to say to me, other than to badmouth my mother. Because of his memory impairment, he can't converse about any current events. Even if I blather about nonsense to kill the awkward silence, he doesn't respond with anything meaningful to move the conversation further.
Truth be told, I don't really like spending much time with my dad. I have nothing in common with this man and never did. And since he didn't make any effort to spend any meaningful time with me during my youth, we really can't reminisce about the past either.
Don't get me wrong - - I am grateful to my dad. He gave me life and he supported me. That's why I've resigned myself to care for him when neither he nor my mom can care for himself. I hate to admit this, but he is a burden that I am not wholeheartedly eager to take on.
My father will likely die with no one, not even his daughter, truly missing him. (I am grateful that he is oblivious to this fact.) His monetary support has bought my gratitude, but not my affection or love. I think in the end, I don't think anyone ever thinks about whether they should've spent more time in the office. But I think some may wish they invested more time and effort in their relationships, since no one wants to die unloved.
An Anonymous commenter posted: "It seems like the old myth that no one on their death bed ever wished they'd spent more time at the office. The sad truth is that millions have reached the end of their life, locked away in some Dickensian nursing home, thinking to themselves - 'Hum, I really wish I would have tried harder to make something of myself.'"
Interesting, since I've come to the opposite conclusion, especially from my dealings with my dad.
My dad's an "old-school" man, stuck in the custom and culture of the old country. He was never active in my life, other than to provide (i.e. pay for) shelter, food, education and other necessities. When I was an infant, he rarely (if ever) changed my diapers or fed me. When I was a child, he never played with me or took interest in my personal life. I doubt he was ever able to name any of my teachers or my friends. He delegated my entire upbringing to my mom.
Anyhow, my dad was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment several years ago and my parents are emotionally, if not geographically, estranged from each other. Notwithstanding the emotional alienation, my mother still performs basic caregiving functions for my dad such as preparing meals, laundering and cleaning. As a result, mother is suffering from caretaker fatigue and resents my father.
I get stressed and depressed when my dad is around too. My dad claims he is starving for conversation. Yet I have nothing to say to him and he has nothing to say to me, other than to badmouth my mother. Because of his memory impairment, he can't converse about any current events. Even if I blather about nonsense to kill the awkward silence, he doesn't respond with anything meaningful to move the conversation further.
Truth be told, I don't really like spending much time with my dad. I have nothing in common with this man and never did. And since he didn't make any effort to spend any meaningful time with me during my youth, we really can't reminisce about the past either.
Don't get me wrong - - I am grateful to my dad. He gave me life and he supported me. That's why I've resigned myself to care for him when neither he nor my mom can care for himself. I hate to admit this, but he is a burden that I am not wholeheartedly eager to take on.
My father will likely die with no one, not even his daughter, truly missing him. (I am grateful that he is oblivious to this fact.) His monetary support has bought my gratitude, but not my affection or love. I think in the end, I don't think anyone ever thinks about whether they should've spent more time in the office. But I think some may wish they invested more time and effort in their relationships, since no one wants to die unloved.
Monday, November 23, 2009
I (Kind'a) Dine 'N' Dashed Last Night
I never really understood the term "food porn" until yesterday evening. After watching a marathon of Top Chef on Bravo, my tastebuds were so worked up, I craved something different and unusual. I decided to be adventurous and drove 20+ miles (one-way), to dine at Los Arcos, an authentic Mexican restaurant near the Mexican border.
Okay, okay. So Mexican food in Southern California isn't quite exotic, but it was an interesting experience. For starters, I noticed that this restaurant catered primarily to well-to-do Mexican expats. (In recent years, many of the social elites from Tijuana have relocated to Chula Vista, to escape the gang violence plaguing most of Mexico.) As if to reinforce their elite status, the male patrons all had arm-candy trophy wives and girlfriends who looked like Sofia Vergara (from ABC comedy, Modern Family).
Since this was a spur-of-the-moment thing, I didn't bother to invite anyone to join me. I started my meal with a mango margarita and a to-die-for shrimp ceviche tostada. For my entree, I ordered Puerto Nuevo-style lobsters. Unlike Maine lobsters, Puerto Nuevo-style langostas are Pacific spiney lobsters that have no claws. The lobsters are pan-fried in lard and served with drawn butter, rice and beans and homemade tortillas.
Although I was really fully, I couldn't leave without trying one of my favorite desserts -- Pastel de Tres Leches.
The food and service was excellent at Los Arcos. As I reached into my purse to grab my wallet, I made the most horrific discovery. I forgot my wallet at home. *CRAAAAAAP!!*
I asked to speak to the owner/manager. I sheepishly told Cesar, the owner, that I forgot my wallet at home. I asked if I could write him a check as collateral while I went home to retrieve my wallet. Cesar told me he trusted me and that he would wait for me to get my wallet.
Although I couldn't believe how trusting Cesar was, I was immensely grateful. I drove home feverishly, found my wallet and returned to the restaurant. Cesar looked relieved to see me since it took over 40 minutes to get my wallet and back. (I don't think he realized how far I lived from the restaurant.) My total bill came out to a little over $62. I left a $40 tip (~65%) as a sign of gratitude.
I guess this is my first (and hopefully last) dine-and-dash experience. I am so relieved that the restaurant didn't call the cops on me. This is one thing I can truly be grateful for this Thanksgiving!
Okay, okay. So Mexican food in Southern California isn't quite exotic, but it was an interesting experience. For starters, I noticed that this restaurant catered primarily to well-to-do Mexican expats. (In recent years, many of the social elites from Tijuana have relocated to Chula Vista, to escape the gang violence plaguing most of Mexico.) As if to reinforce their elite status, the male patrons all had arm-candy trophy wives and girlfriends who looked like Sofia Vergara (from ABC comedy, Modern Family).Since this was a spur-of-the-moment thing, I didn't bother to invite anyone to join me. I started my meal with a mango margarita and a to-die-for shrimp ceviche tostada. For my entree, I ordered Puerto Nuevo-style lobsters. Unlike Maine lobsters, Puerto Nuevo-style langostas are Pacific spiney lobsters that have no claws. The lobsters are pan-fried in lard and served with drawn butter, rice and beans and homemade tortillas.
Although I was really fully, I couldn't leave without trying one of my favorite desserts -- Pastel de Tres Leches.
The food and service was excellent at Los Arcos. As I reached into my purse to grab my wallet, I made the most horrific discovery. I forgot my wallet at home. *CRAAAAAAP!!*I asked to speak to the owner/manager. I sheepishly told Cesar, the owner, that I forgot my wallet at home. I asked if I could write him a check as collateral while I went home to retrieve my wallet. Cesar told me he trusted me and that he would wait for me to get my wallet.
Although I couldn't believe how trusting Cesar was, I was immensely grateful. I drove home feverishly, found my wallet and returned to the restaurant. Cesar looked relieved to see me since it took over 40 minutes to get my wallet and back. (I don't think he realized how far I lived from the restaurant.) My total bill came out to a little over $62. I left a $40 tip (~65%) as a sign of gratitude.
I guess this is my first (and hopefully last) dine-and-dash experience. I am so relieved that the restaurant didn't call the cops on me. This is one thing I can truly be grateful for this Thanksgiving!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
My Itty Bitty *censored* Committee Sticker Shock
I have a confession - - I currently wear ratty, daily-wear plain bras I bought from Costco several years ago. In other words, I haven't gone bra shopping in ages.
To those who wonder how I can be wearing bras that are so old, let me just say, my itty bitty titty committee don't need much support.
(Compare and contrast visual: To my right is Vegas Showgirl, Shannon O'Keefe from the defunct Harrah's Show, Skintight.)
In fact, I don't even wear bras during the weekends. (Humming Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Free Bird" as I type this...)
And since my dating life is either non-existent or disastrous, I've stopped buying fancy-shmancy lacy bras to entice men. You know the ones I'm talking about:
$55 - $214/bra? Are you kidding me? I wouldn't pay that kind of price unless I knew I was hooking up with:
Jon Hamm of Mad Men
Matt Bomer of White Collar. Meeeeeowwwwww!
I prefer my bras plain and seamless.
And when I need to fill out my blouse, I also need my boulder-holders to be sturdy enough to support silicone inserts that look like raw chicken breasts. (In case you didn't know, these stuffers are pretty darn heavy.)
Anyhoo, I went back to Costco and was disappointed that the Maidenform 3-packs I used to buy now only come 2-in-a-pack. If that wasn't bad enough, they've stopped selling A-cups. The smallest size offered is now a 34-B. Where's the love for mosquito-bite girls, Costco?
Dejected, I decided to shop at Macy's One-Day Sale last week where they had a Buy-2-Get-2-Free Deal on Warner and Maidenform bras. I also had a 20% off coupon. *Score!* I mentally calculated that I could get four (4) bras for about $34.80 = $20/bra x 2 x 80% x 1.0875 (tax).
But b-o-o-o-y, was I off on the price. Regularly priced bras now cost $31??? Are you freakin' kidding me? Anyhoo, my four bras cost me $53.94 = $31/bar x 2 x 80% x 1.0875 (tax), or $13.49/bra.
I realize I could get cheaper bras from Wal-mart or even Target, but I hate shopping for underwear there. I have to dig through disorganized racks only to discover they don't have my size. I'm also afraid to come face-to-face with back-boobs that are bigger than most breasts:
Credit (or Dis-credit?): People of Walmart
No thanks. I'll pay a premium for better service and neater displays.
My itty-bitty-titty-committee wants to know: How often do you replace your bras? And how much do you spend?
To those who wonder how I can be wearing bras that are so old, let me just say, my itty bitty titty committee don't need much support.
(Compare and contrast visual: To my right is Vegas Showgirl, Shannon O'Keefe from the defunct Harrah's Show, Skintight.)And since my dating life is either non-existent or disastrous, I've stopped buying fancy-shmancy lacy bras to entice men. You know the ones I'm talking about:
$55 - $214/bra? Are you kidding me? I wouldn't pay that kind of price unless I knew I was hooking up with:
Jon Hamm of Mad Menor,
Matt Bomer of White Collar. Meeeeeowwwwww!I prefer my bras plain and seamless.
And when I need to fill out my blouse, I also need my boulder-holders to be sturdy enough to support silicone inserts that look like raw chicken breasts. (In case you didn't know, these stuffers are pretty darn heavy.)
Anyhoo, I went back to Costco and was disappointed that the Maidenform 3-packs I used to buy now only come 2-in-a-pack. If that wasn't bad enough, they've stopped selling A-cups. The smallest size offered is now a 34-B. Where's the love for mosquito-bite girls, Costco?Dejected, I decided to shop at Macy's One-Day Sale last week where they had a Buy-2-Get-2-Free Deal on Warner and Maidenform bras. I also had a 20% off coupon. *Score!* I mentally calculated that I could get four (4) bras for about $34.80 = $20/bra x 2 x 80% x 1.0875 (tax).
But b-o-o-o-y, was I off on the price. Regularly priced bras now cost $31??? Are you freakin' kidding me? Anyhoo, my four bras cost me $53.94 = $31/bar x 2 x 80% x 1.0875 (tax), or $13.49/bra.
I realize I could get cheaper bras from Wal-mart or even Target, but I hate shopping for underwear there. I have to dig through disorganized racks only to discover they don't have my size. I'm also afraid to come face-to-face with back-boobs that are bigger than most breasts:
Credit (or Dis-credit?): People of WalmartNo thanks. I'll pay a premium for better service and neater displays.
My itty-bitty-titty-committee wants to know: How often do you replace your bras? And how much do you spend?
Thursday, November 5, 2009
So Am I A Greedy Daughter?
Whenever there were salacious news stories about inheritance fights between kids of the rich-and-famous, my family always laughed, "It's a good thing we don't have any money." (Remember the inheritance fight between Anna Nicole and J. Howard Marshall, III, after the Cryptkeeper kicked the bucket?)
And my parents being broke is a wonderful thing, since they could never try to control me by threatening to write me out of their will. Anyhow, I just learned I'm apparently one of those greedy children who try to wrest their parent's money with their grubby little paws.
Here's the story: My sister bought a modest home about four years ago. Last year, right when the economy was cratering, her employer transferred her to another state. She had the option to rent her house out, but she really didn't want to be an absentee landlord. She luckily sold her home and broke even. My sister has yet again been transferred (three times in five years) and this time, she'll be living in the same city where our parents live.
My sister sulked that with her constant transfers, she could never buy real estate and own it to profitability without being a long distance, absentee landlord. She hatched the idea that perhaps if she buys a house, she can rent it to my parents once she is transferred again.
I told my sister that she has a great plan, but if she and parents follow through with this, SHE will have to be the one to take care of our parents when there's an emergency. I should not be looked upon to care for my parents, especially if I'm not getting any money from parents. My sister and my mom were aghast when I made this comment.
I know this sounds cold, but I think equity and fairness demands this outcome. Why should my sister expect an immediate transfer of wealth from my parents with no strings attached? Or am I just being a bratty, greedy daughter?
And my parents being broke is a wonderful thing, since they could never try to control me by threatening to write me out of their will. Anyhow, I just learned I'm apparently one of those greedy children who try to wrest their parent's money with their grubby little paws.
Here's the story: My sister bought a modest home about four years ago. Last year, right when the economy was cratering, her employer transferred her to another state. She had the option to rent her house out, but she really didn't want to be an absentee landlord. She luckily sold her home and broke even. My sister has yet again been transferred (three times in five years) and this time, she'll be living in the same city where our parents live.
My sister sulked that with her constant transfers, she could never buy real estate and own it to profitability without being a long distance, absentee landlord. She hatched the idea that perhaps if she buys a house, she can rent it to my parents once she is transferred again.
I told my sister that she has a great plan, but if she and parents follow through with this, SHE will have to be the one to take care of our parents when there's an emergency. I should not be looked upon to care for my parents, especially if I'm not getting any money from parents. My sister and my mom were aghast when I made this comment.
I know this sounds cold, but I think equity and fairness demands this outcome. Why should my sister expect an immediate transfer of wealth from my parents with no strings attached? Or am I just being a bratty, greedy daughter?
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Thank You For Your Kind Words! I'm Officially Stuck In The Fifth Ring of Hell
Sorry all for the long absence! I've been going through physical therapy and undergoing chiropractic care, which has helped quite a bit with the headaches and neck pains.
Just as I thought things were going well... Well... I'm now stuck in the fifth ring of hell, so to speak.
My company underwent a management overhaul this past year, and let's just say the new regime is trying to make an imprint. And by imprint, they're forcing us peons to undergo Gawd-awful team building exercises. You know the ones I'm talkin' about. In case you're fortunate enough never to have experienced this excruciatingly mind-numbing time-sink, watch this American Airlines commercial and you'll understand.
The worst part about this is that I'm forced to fly cross-country almost every other week this month to participate. I feel like I've joined a cult that deprives me of sleep to make me vulnerable and confused, so that I'll voluntarily drink the Kool-Aid. Please don't ask me what the logic to this is, since I don't see any.
I'm also not going to say much more about this since, God forbid, someone at my company reads this blog. But more than that, when so many people are currently unemployed, it just seems very petty and shallow of me to whine about it.
Anyhow, the constant travels has put me seriously behind the eight-ball at work and I've been a bit overwhelmed. The brainwashin.... errrr... the team building exercises should be over by end of September. Thank you all again for your kind thoughts and words. Rest assured, I'm better now. Well... atleast physically, so I will be back soon! (I hope...)
Just as I thought things were going well... Well... I'm now stuck in the fifth ring of hell, so to speak.
My company underwent a management overhaul this past year, and let's just say the new regime is trying to make an imprint. And by imprint, they're forcing us peons to undergo Gawd-awful team building exercises. You know the ones I'm talkin' about. In case you're fortunate enough never to have experienced this excruciatingly mind-numbing time-sink, watch this American Airlines commercial and you'll understand.
The worst part about this is that I'm forced to fly cross-country almost every other week this month to participate. I feel like I've joined a cult that deprives me of sleep to make me vulnerable and confused, so that I'll voluntarily drink the Kool-Aid. Please don't ask me what the logic to this is, since I don't see any.
I'm also not going to say much more about this since, God forbid, someone at my company reads this blog. But more than that, when so many people are currently unemployed, it just seems very petty and shallow of me to whine about it.
Anyhow, the constant travels has put me seriously behind the eight-ball at work and I've been a bit overwhelmed. The brainwashin.... errrr... the team building exercises should be over by end of September. Thank you all again for your kind thoughts and words. Rest assured, I'm better now. Well... atleast physically, so I will be back soon! (I hope...)
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
As Technology Moves Forward, I'm Tempted to Keep Pace
Sorry for the lack of posts, folks. I've been busy transferring my Hawaii vacation videos from my DV palmcorder cassettes to .avi format so that I can burn it onto a DVD for my family. My family's been miffed since I've had the tapes since 2005 and haven't shared it with them.
In the past, I just copied the DV cassettes onto VHS tapes to share, but my sister recently told me that she intends to throw out her VCR. She said with DVR, she has no need for a VCR. Great. So now I have to burn the family video onto DVDs. What I didn't realize was how slow and tedious this process is. (It takes about 15 minutes to transfer 30 seconds of data!)
I guess my palmcorder (that my parents purchased in 2003) is now "old technology" and new camcorders record images on a hard-drive or memory cards rather than casettes. The image transfers on the new camcorders are much quicker and efficient.
This reminded me of how I've been REALLY slow to keep pace with the march of technology. As you know, in the past week, I purchased my FIRST EVER digital camera. (I've been making do with my cell phone camera up until now.) I still don't own a iPod and I don't have DVR. I own a HDTV-ready LCD TV that I watch in analog.
In many ways, I'm glad I don't feel the need to have the newest and greatest gadgets. I rarely feel inconvenienced by the lack of new modern conveniences.
But when I started playing with my new digital camera, I marveled at how I was missing out on a lot of fun features I can play with. And now, with the excruciating process of transferring data from a DV cassette to DVD, I wish I had a modern camcorder. I guess this is what you call lifestyle inflation and I'm trying REALLY hard to resist it.
In the past, I just copied the DV cassettes onto VHS tapes to share, but my sister recently told me that she intends to throw out her VCR. She said with DVR, she has no need for a VCR. Great. So now I have to burn the family video onto DVDs. What I didn't realize was how slow and tedious this process is. (It takes about 15 minutes to transfer 30 seconds of data!)
I guess my palmcorder (that my parents purchased in 2003) is now "old technology" and new camcorders record images on a hard-drive or memory cards rather than casettes. The image transfers on the new camcorders are much quicker and efficient.
This reminded me of how I've been REALLY slow to keep pace with the march of technology. As you know, in the past week, I purchased my FIRST EVER digital camera. (I've been making do with my cell phone camera up until now.) I still don't own a iPod and I don't have DVR. I own a HDTV-ready LCD TV that I watch in analog.
In many ways, I'm glad I don't feel the need to have the newest and greatest gadgets. I rarely feel inconvenienced by the lack of new modern conveniences.
But when I started playing with my new digital camera, I marveled at how I was missing out on a lot of fun features I can play with. And now, with the excruciating process of transferring data from a DV cassette to DVD, I wish I had a modern camcorder. I guess this is what you call lifestyle inflation and I'm trying REALLY hard to resist it.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Random Thoughts About My 3rd Paycheck and Bank Failures and One Confession
July is a 3-paycheck month and I got my first-of-three paycheck yesterday. I immediately transferred my money to my savings. I wish I could say that I "bank" my 3rd paycheck but alas, I can't. I instead disburse 1/6th of it to myself every month until the next 3-paycheck month comes along. Eventually, I hope to eliminate my debts to the point that I can just bank my 3rd paycheck as savings. Someday....
So my spendaganza goes on. I just bought myself my first EVER digital camera. Yes, it's time I joined the 21st century.
I bought a Panasonic Lumix DMC-ZS1, 10.1 MP camera with 12x optical zoom at Costco, using a $50 off coupon and a $100 gift card. The camera normally retails for $299-$330. With the discount and gift card, I paid about $155, including tax. The price includes a carrying case a 2 MB memory card. Not too shabby, wouldn't you say?
Costco offered a $50 off coupon last December. I really, really wanted it at the time, but decided not to. Ever since, I rued my decision of not taking advantage of the $50 off coupon. When I recently saw that Costco was offering the same coupon again, I decided to jump on this opportunity. I'm hoping that the 12x optical zoom will come in handy when I go see the Pageant of the Masters next weekend!
Holy guacamole. Have you seen the FDIC list of bank failures in 2009? Most of these banks had less than $1 billion in assets but it's still very unnerving.
As my faithful readers know, I'm arbitraging my 0% credit card debt by paying the minimum and putting my money in a 2.0% savings account at DollarSavingsDirect.
Bankrate gave Emigrant Bank (the parent company of DollarSavingsDirect) a 1-star rating as of 12/31/08.
Although I don't think Emigrant Bank will go under before October (when my 0% promotional rate expires), I also don't want to take any chances. I'll be transferring my money to SmartyPig (the online partner of West Bank). Bankrate gave West Bank 3-stars. Better yet, SmartyPig's current APY is 2.75%.
~~~
So my spendaganza goes on. I just bought myself my first EVER digital camera. Yes, it's time I joined the 21st century.
I bought a Panasonic Lumix DMC-ZS1, 10.1 MP camera with 12x optical zoom at Costco, using a $50 off coupon and a $100 gift card. The camera normally retails for $299-$330. With the discount and gift card, I paid about $155, including tax. The price includes a carrying case a 2 MB memory card. Not too shabby, wouldn't you say?
Costco offered a $50 off coupon last December. I really, really wanted it at the time, but decided not to. Ever since, I rued my decision of not taking advantage of the $50 off coupon. When I recently saw that Costco was offering the same coupon again, I decided to jump on this opportunity. I'm hoping that the 12x optical zoom will come in handy when I go see the Pageant of the Masters next weekend!
~~~
Holy guacamole. Have you seen the FDIC list of bank failures in 2009? Most of these banks had less than $1 billion in assets but it's still very unnerving.
As my faithful readers know, I'm arbitraging my 0% credit card debt by paying the minimum and putting my money in a 2.0% savings account at DollarSavingsDirect.
Bankrate gave Emigrant Bank (the parent company of DollarSavingsDirect) a 1-star rating as of 12/31/08.
Although I don't think Emigrant Bank will go under before October (when my 0% promotional rate expires), I also don't want to take any chances. I'll be transferring my money to SmartyPig (the online partner of West Bank). Bankrate gave West Bank 3-stars. Better yet, SmartyPig's current APY is 2.75%.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Post of Shame Follow-Up - How I Intend to Pay For My Recent Spendapalooza
One of the drawbacks of taking time off of work is that I always come back to exploding in-boxes (electronic and otherwise). Heck, that's still not going to discourage me from taking days off from work. But I do want to apologize to many of my fellow bloggers for falling behind on their recent posts. I intend to catch up over this extended holiday. ^_^
Before I go on to explain how I intend to pay off my recent spending bonanza, I just have a funny (but pathetic) tale to tell. My big sis and I went to Disneyland on Friday to take advantage of a Disney promotion that gave away free admission to patrons on their birthday. (FYI, if you want to upgrade to a park hopper ticket, it'll cost $25 extra.) As part of the promotion, I also received a "Happy Birthday Shtinkykat" (read:"Happy Birthday You Cheap Bastard") button to wear all day.
We were on this ride called Grizzly River Run at California Adventure and our boat was filled with a gaggle of children ranging from ages 5 to 12. One of the girls wished me a happy birthday. The second girl asked, "How old are you now?" The following is a true conversation:
Chaperone/Mom: That's not a polite questions to ask a lady!
Shtinkykat: It's okay. I'm old.
Boy 1 (Approx. Age 9): You're 72!
Shtinkykat: You're close. Just divide that by 2 and add 1.
Chaperone/Mom: Oh, you're still young.
Boy 2 (Approx. Age 10): You're 26?
Shtinkykat: I'll take that.
Chaperone/Mom: (Giggle)
Girl 2 (Approx. Age 12): Seriously. How old are you?
Shtinkykat: Uh... 72 divided by 2 plus 1.
Girl 2 (Approx. Age 12): 41? 40? 39? 38? 37? 36?
Boy 1 and Boy 2: 31! 32! 33! ....
Chaperone/Mom: (Getting alarmed) C'mon kids. What's 72 divided by 2?
Kids: (Collective mental straining)
Chaperone/Mom: (Getting depressed) Oh, you're a sad bunch if you can't figure that out!
I truly hope these kids aren't representative of the average kid's math skills in the U.S.
Anyhoo, onto the real topic of how I intend to pay for the $600+ I spent over this past extended weekend.
Back in 2001, I was just starting to contribute to my 401k (vested value at the time = approx. $600) and I didn't own any stocks. This always bothered me since I was pushing 30 and owned absolutely nothing in my life. After the 9/11 attacks, the stock market took a temporary plunge. I suspected that the dip was only temporary would eventually recover. But I had nearly no savings to take advantage of what I thought was a temporary dip.
At the time, most online brokerages had a $5,000 minimum to open. Too rich for me. The brokerage that had the lowest minimum ($1k) was Datek (now TD Ameritrade). Still too rich for me.
I suggested to my sister that we open a joint account at $500/each. She agreed. (Coincidentally, one of our early stock purchases were Disney stocks.) Over the next couple of years, I contributed an additional $400 or so,but since stopped after I opened my own individual accounts at Scottrade. I also never really gave much thought to the Datek account and hadn't included its value in my net worth calculations.
Fast forward to 2009. My sister offered to buy out my interest in the Datek account. She offered to pay half the current value, but I knew that wasn't fair since most of the stocks lost a lot of value and she had contributed much more into the account. After some number crunching, I discovered that I hadn't lost any of my $900 investment despite the market crash, thanks to stock splits and dividends. (Hurray!)
My sister wrote me a check for $1,000 ($100 as a birthday gift). I initially had lofty thoughts of putting that directly into my Roth IRA, but that ain't happening. Looks like I'll be using this "windfall" to pay for the recent spending bonanza as well as a weekend getaway I'm planning with my BFF. Sigh. I know it's unwise and imprudent. But what's done is done and it sure beats using my EF, earmarks or (gasp) going into credit card debt for my spending extravaganza.
Before I go on to explain how I intend to pay off my recent spending bonanza, I just have a funny (but pathetic) tale to tell. My big sis and I went to Disneyland on Friday to take advantage of a Disney promotion that gave away free admission to patrons on their birthday. (FYI, if you want to upgrade to a park hopper ticket, it'll cost $25 extra.) As part of the promotion, I also received a "Happy Birthday Shtinkykat" (read:"Happy Birthday You Cheap Bastard") button to wear all day.
We were on this ride called Grizzly River Run at California Adventure and our boat was filled with a gaggle of children ranging from ages 5 to 12. One of the girls wished me a happy birthday. The second girl asked, "How old are you now?" The following is a true conversation:
Chaperone/Mom: That's not a polite questions to ask a lady!
Shtinkykat: It's okay. I'm old.
Boy 1 (Approx. Age 9): You're 72!
Shtinkykat: You're close. Just divide that by 2 and add 1.
Chaperone/Mom: Oh, you're still young.
Boy 2 (Approx. Age 10): You're 26?
Shtinkykat: I'll take that.
Chaperone/Mom: (Giggle)
Girl 2 (Approx. Age 12): Seriously. How old are you?
Shtinkykat: Uh... 72 divided by 2 plus 1.
Girl 2 (Approx. Age 12): 41? 40? 39? 38? 37? 36?
Boy 1 and Boy 2: 31! 32! 33! ....
Chaperone/Mom: (Getting alarmed) C'mon kids. What's 72 divided by 2?
Kids: (Collective mental straining)
Chaperone/Mom: (Getting depressed) Oh, you're a sad bunch if you can't figure that out!
I truly hope these kids aren't representative of the average kid's math skills in the U.S.
~~~
Anyhoo, onto the real topic of how I intend to pay for the $600+ I spent over this past extended weekend.
Back in 2001, I was just starting to contribute to my 401k (vested value at the time = approx. $600) and I didn't own any stocks. This always bothered me since I was pushing 30 and owned absolutely nothing in my life. After the 9/11 attacks, the stock market took a temporary plunge. I suspected that the dip was only temporary would eventually recover. But I had nearly no savings to take advantage of what I thought was a temporary dip.
At the time, most online brokerages had a $5,000 minimum to open. Too rich for me. The brokerage that had the lowest minimum ($1k) was Datek (now TD Ameritrade). Still too rich for me.
I suggested to my sister that we open a joint account at $500/each. She agreed. (Coincidentally, one of our early stock purchases were Disney stocks.) Over the next couple of years, I contributed an additional $400 or so,but since stopped after I opened my own individual accounts at Scottrade. I also never really gave much thought to the Datek account and hadn't included its value in my net worth calculations.
Fast forward to 2009. My sister offered to buy out my interest in the Datek account. She offered to pay half the current value, but I knew that wasn't fair since most of the stocks lost a lot of value and she had contributed much more into the account. After some number crunching, I discovered that I hadn't lost any of my $900 investment despite the market crash, thanks to stock splits and dividends. (Hurray!)
My sister wrote me a check for $1,000 ($100 as a birthday gift). I initially had lofty thoughts of putting that directly into my Roth IRA, but that ain't happening. Looks like I'll be using this "windfall" to pay for the recent spending bonanza as well as a weekend getaway I'm planning with my BFF. Sigh. I know it's unwise and imprudent. But what's done is done and it sure beats using my EF, earmarks or (gasp) going into credit card debt for my spending extravaganza.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Post of Shame
This is the PF blog equivalent of the walk of shame. I've been on a spending binge for the last 4 days. Just as a brief recap, I went to Disneyland and California Adventure on Friday and I had a professional portrait taken on Saturday. It was a shockingly expensive spending bonanza.
Thursday (6/25/09)
I spent the day cleaning my apartment and buying food in preparation for my big sister's visit.
Bristol Farms: $28.11 (Nova lox, fresh squeezed orange juice, baguette, imported cheese, yogurt)
Farmer's Market: $8.09 (Veggies and fruit)
Ulta: $9.23 (Cosmetic item per big sis' request)
Target: $25.26 (Cleaning products, soaps, toilet paper, etc.)
TOTAL: $70.69
Friday (6/26/09)
Disneyland (paid by big-sis): $119 (Birthday free admission upgrade to 1-day Park Hopper; My share $25.)
Parking: $12.00
Concession Stand Purchases: $12 (1 water, 1 Coke, 2 churros)
Lunch: $58.39
Gas: $45.77
Dinner: $68.00
TOTAL: $196.16
Saturday (6/27/09)
Professional Make-up: $120.00 (including tip)
Brunch (paid by big-sis): $31.00
Professional Hair (paid by big-sis): $108 (My share $54)
Professional Portrait (paid by big-sis): $285 (My share $142.50)
DVD Rental: $10.85
Dinner: $66.00
Dessert: $8.00
TOTAL: $204.85
Sunday (6/28/09)
Lunch: $15.55
Gas: $9.28
TOTAL: $24.83
IOU to My Big-Sis: $140
GRAND TOTAL: $636.53
Egads. I'll explain tomorrow how I intend to pay for this. And I ain't too proud about how I'm going to pay about it either...
Thursday (6/25/09)
I spent the day cleaning my apartment and buying food in preparation for my big sister's visit.
Bristol Farms: $28.11 (Nova lox, fresh squeezed orange juice, baguette, imported cheese, yogurt)
Farmer's Market: $8.09 (Veggies and fruit)
Ulta: $9.23 (Cosmetic item per big sis' request)
Target: $25.26 (Cleaning products, soaps, toilet paper, etc.)
TOTAL: $70.69
Friday (6/26/09)
Disneyland (paid by big-sis): $119 (Birthday free admission upgrade to 1-day Park Hopper; My share $25.)
Parking: $12.00
Concession Stand Purchases: $12 (1 water, 1 Coke, 2 churros)
Lunch: $58.39
Gas: $45.77
Dinner: $68.00
TOTAL: $196.16
Saturday (6/27/09)
Professional Make-up: $120.00 (including tip)
Brunch (paid by big-sis): $31.00
Professional Hair (paid by big-sis): $108 (My share $54)
Professional Portrait (paid by big-sis): $285 (My share $142.50)
DVD Rental: $10.85
Dinner: $66.00
Dessert: $8.00
TOTAL: $204.85
Sunday (6/28/09)
Lunch: $15.55
Gas: $9.28
TOTAL: $24.83
IOU to My Big-Sis: $140
GRAND TOTAL: $636.53
Egads. I'll explain tomorrow how I intend to pay for this. And I ain't too proud about how I'm going to pay about it either...
Friday, June 19, 2009
PF Fatigue Setting In
I’m suffering from a bad case of PF fatigue. I’m droppin’ Washingtons like there’s no tomorrow. Ha ha, just kidding. But I have been busting my budget.
First of all, I’ve been eating out most of this month, and the inside of my fridge looks like Stonehenge made of styrofoam take-out boxes. I just haven’t been motivated to grocery shop and cook. I guess it doesn’t help that food is the
only thing that relieves my daily stress at work and makes me happy these day...
Note: Not my fridge.
My budget is further busted since I’m having my professional portrait taken at the end of the month. I already bought a dress for this sitting ($106) but I'll also need to pay for professional make-up and hair. (No, I’m not getting them done at Glamour Shots.) I really have no special reason to have the photos taken other than that I don’t have very many photos of myself where I don’t look like a total dweeboid-mutant. I figure that when something sensationally horrific happens, my family will have a decent picture of me to give the police or the media. Or perhaps, maybe not…
And next month, my BFF and I will be having a girls’ staycation weekend in Orange County. My BFF and I did this back in December. We’re checking out the Pageant of the Masters in Laguna Beach and we decided to take advantage of an awesome deal at the Wyndham where for $289 (tax not included) we'll get:
I don't know why but I've fallen off the proverbial horse. I just need to find the motivation to get back on.
First of all, I’ve been eating out most of this month, and the inside of my fridge looks like Stonehenge made of styrofoam take-out boxes. I just haven’t been motivated to grocery shop and cook. I guess it doesn’t help that food is the
only thing that relieves my daily stress at work and makes me happy these day...
Note: Not my fridge.My budget is further busted since I’m having my professional portrait taken at the end of the month. I already bought a dress for this sitting ($106) but I'll also need to pay for professional make-up and hair. (No, I’m not getting them done at Glamour Shots.) I really have no special reason to have the photos taken other than that I don’t have very many photos of myself where I don’t look like a total dweeboid-mutant. I figure that when something sensationally horrific happens, my family will have a decent picture of me to give the police or the media. Or perhaps, maybe not…
And next month, my BFF and I will be having a girls’ staycation weekend in Orange County. My BFF and I did this back in December. We’re checking out the Pageant of the Masters in Laguna Beach and we decided to take advantage of an awesome deal at the Wyndham where for $289 (tax not included) we'll get:
- Overnight hotel accommodation
- Two (2) premium signature cocktails (per reservation)
- One (1) $50- giftcard from Chi-Chi Mall
- Two (2) 50- minute massages at The Spa
I don't know why but I've fallen off the proverbial horse. I just need to find the motivation to get back on.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Movies That Inadvertently Depressed Me
I normally don’t get emotional when I see movies, especially blockbuster movies aimed at young men. But a couple of movies I saw inadvertently depressed me.
Transformers
I watched Transformers on DVD that my friend lent me this past weekend. In light of the recent bankruptcy filing by GM, watching the good-guy Autobots transform into GM cars made me strangely sad. When Autobot Jazz was killed, I thought his death was eerily prescient, since the character transformed into a Pontiac Solstice. (On April 27, 2009, amid ongoing financial problems and restructuring efforts, GM announced that it would phase out the Pontiac brand by the end of 2010.)
This feeling of sadness was exacerbated after watching an episode of Band of Brothers where the character, David Webster, yells at a passing column of German prisoners:
During World War II, GM was a beacon of pride and a symbol of American technological and industrial might. Now, it’s a dinosaur, awaiting extinction.
I guess I'm also feeling guilty since a couple of years ago, my father's Pontiac G-6 lease came due. We went back to the Pontiac dealership to see about leasing a new car. The salespeople were idle but were slow to help us. When we took the car for a test drive, the car suddenly shifted into reverse and the brakes failed. I pulled the emergency brakes which successfully stopped the car. I convinced my father to purchase a Toyota Corolla instead.
Even after a successful emergence from bankruptcy, I'm not confident that GM can successfully overcome the stigma and image of poor management and lousy manufacturing. But I am certainly hoping for the best.
Casino Royale
The second movie that oddly depressed me was Casino Royale. I had never seen the movie in the theater or on DVD, but took advantage of USA channel’s recent airing. In an early scene, a Ugandan warlord tells a money launderer that he wants his money kept safe in a “no-risk portfolio”. The crooked banker assures him that he will do so, but in reality purchased “put” options on company stocks whose prices he intended to manipulate via terrorist activity.
This kind of reminded me of how some brokers like Citigroup sold auction rate securities (ARS) to investors as safe, liquid and “cash-like investments”, when in fact, they are long-term investments and are significantly more risky than cash. I guess this a reminder that when you want a liquid, no-risk account, you really shouldn’t be expecting high-returns and vice versa.
The final scene that depressed me was when CIA agent, Felix Leiter, offers to put up James Bond’s $5 million re-buy into a high-stakes poker tournament that Bond had already busted after an unsuccessful "all-in" bet. As a condition for staking the re-buy, Leiter demands the US would take custody of the crooked banker. Bond asks Leiter, “What about the money?” Leiter responds, “Does it look like we need the money?”
The movie was filmed before 2006, when most Americans were feeling “rich”. What a difference a couple of years make. What seemed like a cocky response then, seems almost pathetic now.
Transformers
I watched Transformers on DVD that my friend lent me this past weekend. In light of the recent bankruptcy filing by GM, watching the good-guy Autobots transform into GM cars made me strangely sad. When Autobot Jazz was killed, I thought his death was eerily prescient, since the character transformed into a Pontiac Solstice. (On April 27, 2009, amid ongoing financial problems and restructuring efforts, GM announced that it would phase out the Pontiac brand by the end of 2010.)
This feeling of sadness was exacerbated after watching an episode of Band of Brothers where the character, David Webster, yells at a passing column of German prisoners:
Hey, you! That's right, you stupid… bastards! That's right! Say hello to Ford, and General f***in' Motors! You stupid fascist pigs! Look at you! You have horses!
During World War II, GM was a beacon of pride and a symbol of American technological and industrial might. Now, it’s a dinosaur, awaiting extinction.
I guess I'm also feeling guilty since a couple of years ago, my father's Pontiac G-6 lease came due. We went back to the Pontiac dealership to see about leasing a new car. The salespeople were idle but were slow to help us. When we took the car for a test drive, the car suddenly shifted into reverse and the brakes failed. I pulled the emergency brakes which successfully stopped the car. I convinced my father to purchase a Toyota Corolla instead.
Even after a successful emergence from bankruptcy, I'm not confident that GM can successfully overcome the stigma and image of poor management and lousy manufacturing. But I am certainly hoping for the best.
Casino Royale
The second movie that oddly depressed me was Casino Royale. I had never seen the movie in the theater or on DVD, but took advantage of USA channel’s recent airing. In an early scene, a Ugandan warlord tells a money launderer that he wants his money kept safe in a “no-risk portfolio”. The crooked banker assures him that he will do so, but in reality purchased “put” options on company stocks whose prices he intended to manipulate via terrorist activity.
This kind of reminded me of how some brokers like Citigroup sold auction rate securities (ARS) to investors as safe, liquid and “cash-like investments”, when in fact, they are long-term investments and are significantly more risky than cash. I guess this a reminder that when you want a liquid, no-risk account, you really shouldn’t be expecting high-returns and vice versa.
The final scene that depressed me was when CIA agent, Felix Leiter, offers to put up James Bond’s $5 million re-buy into a high-stakes poker tournament that Bond had already busted after an unsuccessful "all-in" bet. As a condition for staking the re-buy, Leiter demands the US would take custody of the crooked banker. Bond asks Leiter, “What about the money?” Leiter responds, “Does it look like we need the money?”
The movie was filmed before 2006, when most Americans were feeling “rich”. What a difference a couple of years make. What seemed like a cocky response then, seems almost pathetic now.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
My Insane Accounting
I previously wrote about my 7 saving accounts and 3 checking accounts. I'm embarrassed to even write about my personal accounting system since it's inefficient, cumbersome and insane. But it's been working for me and until there's a drastic change in my life (i.e., I get laid off), I don't really have any impetus to change the way I do things.
Some of you commented how easily I can close down my inactive accounts. But that would mean I would need to re-jigger my current system and re-draw my crazy spreadsheet. I really don't want to have to go through that unless I really have to.
I also discovered that I'm irrational about money. I have this strange need to compartmentalize my money into different "buckets" for different purposes. For example, let's suppose I have $1,000 in my savings specifically earmarked for irregular expenses. And let's suppose I incur $100 in vet bills and $500 in car repairs this month. Most sane people would just pay $600 out of the $1,000 savings account and make plans to replenish the account.
Not me. Paying $600 out of $1,000 would drive me nuts. I would feel more comfortable if my $1,000 earmarked was categorized into a "pet fund", "car fund", etc. etc. I realize it's coming out of the same bucket of money, but categorizing and compartmentalizing has a calming effect on me. Go figure.
Anyhoo, here's my mental illness spelled out:
1. My Semi-Inactive Accounts (4 Accounts = Savings #1, 2, 3 and Checking #2)
My bricks-and-mortar savings at Wells Fargo (savings #1) and my credit union (savings #2) have approximately only $100 in each account. My BofA (savings #3) account has approximately $77 in it. Since they accrue piddly interest rates, I have no intention of increasing the amount in any of them. They are mostly kept open for convenience (i.e., in case I'm in a situation where I need to access some quick cash at an ATM).
I'm not exactly sure how much I have in my Credit Union checking #2 account. I only opened this account because it's the only true free checking account that doesn't require a monthly direct deposit from payroll in order to avoid monthly fees. If and when I get laid off from my current employer and if I have a significant lag time before I start my next job, I will probably designate checking #2 as my primary checking account.
2. Active Checking Accounts (2 Accounts = Checking #1 and 2)
I get direct deposit of $100 each pay period into my Wells Fargo checking #1 and the remainder of my paycheck goes into Bank of America checking #2.
As I previously wrote, checking #2 pays the bills. Checking #1 is supposed to be my "fun money", but I've regularly shifted 20% into my EF, 25% into my "mom and dad fund" and 20% into my car maintenance fund. But since checking #1 isn't linked to any of my online saving accounts, I have to write a check to myself to deposit into checking #2.
So let's summarize the inefficiency of this system: Payroll $100 -> checking #1 -> $65 into checking #2 -> $65 to savings #4. Insane, I know.
3. SmartyPig Account (1 Account: Savings #7)
Every month, my BofA checking #2 automatically transfers $25 into my BofA savings #3 to avoid monthly fees. (This means every month, I need to make sure that I set aside $25 to cover the transfer.) I've recently set up an automatic transfer of $25 from my BofA savings #3 into my SmartyPig savings #7, which is currently getting 3.05% APY. My SmartyPig Account is designated as a pure EF account.
So let me summarize the inefficiency of this current system: Payroll -> Checking #2 (set aside $25) -> $25 to Savings #3 -> $25 to Savings #7. Pretty silly, eh?
4. ING (1 Account: Savings #4)
My ING savings #4 account holds the majority of my "irregular expense" money that I don't need to tap right away. It takes approximately 2 to 3 business days to get money transferred in and out of this account so it's not the most convenient place to stash my emergency funds.
Currently, my ING savings #4 account is separated into the following categories:
5. Dollar Savings Direct (1 Account: Savings #6)
Savings #6 holds some EF money, an earmark for 2009 taxes and my "arbitrage" fund. (My arbitrage fund holds money I intend to use to pay off my 0% credit card balance in October.) This fund has the highest APY (before I opened SmartyPig), so the majority of my EF is held in this account.
I transfer $931 of "arbitrage" money every month into this account.
6. Citibank Ultimate Savings Account (1 Account: Savings #5)
I allocate whatever money I have left over from paycheck#2 of the month into this account. Savings #5 holds the following funds:
Some of you commented how easily I can close down my inactive accounts. But that would mean I would need to re-jigger my current system and re-draw my crazy spreadsheet. I really don't want to have to go through that unless I really have to.
I also discovered that I'm irrational about money. I have this strange need to compartmentalize my money into different "buckets" for different purposes. For example, let's suppose I have $1,000 in my savings specifically earmarked for irregular expenses. And let's suppose I incur $100 in vet bills and $500 in car repairs this month. Most sane people would just pay $600 out of the $1,000 savings account and make plans to replenish the account.
Not me. Paying $600 out of $1,000 would drive me nuts. I would feel more comfortable if my $1,000 earmarked was categorized into a "pet fund", "car fund", etc. etc. I realize it's coming out of the same bucket of money, but categorizing and compartmentalizing has a calming effect on me. Go figure.
Anyhoo, here's my mental illness spelled out:
1. My Semi-Inactive Accounts (4 Accounts = Savings #1, 2, 3 and Checking #2)
My bricks-and-mortar savings at Wells Fargo (savings #1) and my credit union (savings #2) have approximately only $100 in each account. My BofA (savings #3) account has approximately $77 in it. Since they accrue piddly interest rates, I have no intention of increasing the amount in any of them. They are mostly kept open for convenience (i.e., in case I'm in a situation where I need to access some quick cash at an ATM).
I'm not exactly sure how much I have in my Credit Union checking #2 account. I only opened this account because it's the only true free checking account that doesn't require a monthly direct deposit from payroll in order to avoid monthly fees. If and when I get laid off from my current employer and if I have a significant lag time before I start my next job, I will probably designate checking #2 as my primary checking account.
2. Active Checking Accounts (2 Accounts = Checking #1 and 2)
I get direct deposit of $100 each pay period into my Wells Fargo checking #1 and the remainder of my paycheck goes into Bank of America checking #2.
As I previously wrote, checking #2 pays the bills. Checking #1 is supposed to be my "fun money", but I've regularly shifted 20% into my EF, 25% into my "mom and dad fund" and 20% into my car maintenance fund. But since checking #1 isn't linked to any of my online saving accounts, I have to write a check to myself to deposit into checking #2.
So let's summarize the inefficiency of this system: Payroll $100 -> checking #1 -> $65 into checking #2 -> $65 to savings #4. Insane, I know.
3. SmartyPig Account (1 Account: Savings #7)
Every month, my BofA checking #2 automatically transfers $25 into my BofA savings #3 to avoid monthly fees. (This means every month, I need to make sure that I set aside $25 to cover the transfer.) I've recently set up an automatic transfer of $25 from my BofA savings #3 into my SmartyPig savings #7, which is currently getting 3.05% APY. My SmartyPig Account is designated as a pure EF account.
So let me summarize the inefficiency of this current system: Payroll -> Checking #2 (set aside $25) -> $25 to Savings #3 -> $25 to Savings #7. Pretty silly, eh?
4. ING (1 Account: Savings #4)
My ING savings #4 account holds the majority of my "irregular expense" money that I don't need to tap right away. It takes approximately 2 to 3 business days to get money transferred in and out of this account so it's not the most convenient place to stash my emergency funds.
Currently, my ING savings #4 account is separated into the following categories:
a. I-Bond FundAny money I have left over from my first paycheck of the month gets allocated into the above funds.
b. Mom and Dad Fund: To those of you new to my blog, my parents are not in the greatest financial shape. Knock on wood, they have not asked my sister or me to help them out financially in any significant way... yet. In the interim, I give each of them $100 in cash for mother/father's day, birthday and Christmas. This fund covers that expense.
c. Car Repair/Maintenance Fund
d. Pet Care Fund
e. Christmas Fund
f. Computer Fund
g. CD Ladder Fund
h. EF #1
5. Dollar Savings Direct (1 Account: Savings #6)
Savings #6 holds some EF money, an earmark for 2009 taxes and my "arbitrage" fund. (My arbitrage fund holds money I intend to use to pay off my 0% credit card balance in October.) This fund has the highest APY (before I opened SmartyPig), so the majority of my EF is held in this account.
I transfer $931 of "arbitrage" money every month into this account.
6. Citibank Ultimate Savings Account (1 Account: Savings #5)
I allocate whatever money I have left over from paycheck#2 of the month into this account. Savings #5 holds the following funds:
a. Roth Fund: I try to deposit $50/month into my Roth account every month. But some months I'm short. I pay the shortfall out of this account;
b. COLA/Insurance: I've started paying my insurance premiums in one lump sum with a credit card rather than paying $3.50/installment fee to my insurance company. I pay $120/month into this account to cover my annual premiums. I also put extra money into this account to cover any unexpected cost of living increases. I tap this account until I can re-adjust my budget to cover the increased cost of living expense on a regular basis.
c. Vacation Fund
d. Extra Paycheck Fund: I get paid every other week and 2 months of the year, I get 3 paychecks. I wish I'm banking my 3rd paychecks, but I can't. I currently put the 3rd paycheck into this account and distribute it equally over the next 6 months to cover my living expenses. One of these days, I hope my livings expenses will go down enough so that I can just bank my 3rd paychecks.
e. EF
I keep this account open for liquidity purposes. Unlike ING, SmartyPig or DollarSavingsDirect, I can access money from this account immediately at a branch.
My once simple system has grown into a monster. But as they say, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Oh, and here's another cliche: there's a method to my madness. Too bad only I can comprehend it!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Bank Account Madness
I have a confession. I have 7 savings account and 3 checking accounts. It wasn't always like this. Up until a couple of years ago, I was a one-bank woman. If banks were single men, I'd be a promiscuous 'ho.
In the early '90s, I opened checking #1 and savings #1 at Wells Fargo while I was a Freshman in college. Wells Fargo really didn't give me great products or services, but I liked them enough. In Southern California, Wells Fargo is one of the easiest banks to do business with since they have ATMs and branches everywhere. But at some point, Wells Fargo started charging me $7.00/month for online bill pay. Little did I know I didn't have to put up with this lousy service!
In early 2005, I opened savings #2 at my local credit union. I opened the account under the naive thought that if I had a savings account, I would get better terms on my car loan. (I didn't.)
Then in October 2006, I received a letter from Bank of America offering me $125 if I opened up a new personal checking and savings account. I was told I wouldn't be charged a fee on my checking so long as I had direct deposit every month. I was also exempt from fees on my savings if I transferred $25 every month from my checking to my savings. I thought, "What the heck?" and opened checking #2 and savings #3. At this point, I started using my BofA checking account as my primary checking account to pay bills. My Wells Fargo became my secondary checking account for "fun money".
In January 2007, I received a promotional mailer from ING offering $25 if I opened an Orange Savings Account. As far as I could see, there was no catch and the bank offered a remarkable 4.41% APY. Wells Fargo and BofA was paying a laughable 0.01% APY, so how could I turn this offer down? I signed up for savings #4, got my $25 and I was introduced to the wonderful world of online savings accounts. I was hooked!
In April 2007, I learned about another promotional offer for $100 if I opened a Citibank Ultimate Savings Account online. Again, there didn't seem to be any catch and the APY was competitive with ING. I opened savings #5. (Ahhh. The good ol' days when Citibank was giving out money, not taking money.)
In November 2008, I learned about DollarSavingsDirect, who was offering 4% APY while other banks were paying approximately half. I enjoyed the thrill of rate-chasing, so I opened savings #6. Little did I know that the interest rates would plummet at all of the online banks in less than a year. But online banks still offer a much better rate than the bricks-and-mortar banks. I'm sticking with them.
Around the same time, I opened checking #3 with my local credit union. I was concerned that if I got laid off and didn't have additional direct deposits, I'd be charged monthly fees by Wells Fargo and BofA. The local credit union offered a true free checking account, so if and when I get laid off, I'm certain that I will close down checking #1 and checking #2 and start using checking #3 exclusively.
And finally, most recently, I opened savings #7 through Smarty Pig. This was partly due to my addiction to rate-chasing (currently 3.05% APY) and because I liked the whole Christmas Club-like plan it offered.
You're probably wondering, why don't I just close some of my accounts? I wondered about that too. And here's what I came up with:
I was planning to write the bizaare and complicated system I use to keep track of my money, but I realized it will take forever. Tomorrow, I'll write about my crazy system and my even crazier spreadsheet.
In the early '90s, I opened checking #1 and savings #1 at Wells Fargo while I was a Freshman in college. Wells Fargo really didn't give me great products or services, but I liked them enough. In Southern California, Wells Fargo is one of the easiest banks to do business with since they have ATMs and branches everywhere. But at some point, Wells Fargo started charging me $7.00/month for online bill pay. Little did I know I didn't have to put up with this lousy service!
In early 2005, I opened savings #2 at my local credit union. I opened the account under the naive thought that if I had a savings account, I would get better terms on my car loan. (I didn't.)
Then in October 2006, I received a letter from Bank of America offering me $125 if I opened up a new personal checking and savings account. I was told I wouldn't be charged a fee on my checking so long as I had direct deposit every month. I was also exempt from fees on my savings if I transferred $25 every month from my checking to my savings. I thought, "What the heck?" and opened checking #2 and savings #3. At this point, I started using my BofA checking account as my primary checking account to pay bills. My Wells Fargo became my secondary checking account for "fun money".
In January 2007, I received a promotional mailer from ING offering $25 if I opened an Orange Savings Account. As far as I could see, there was no catch and the bank offered a remarkable 4.41% APY. Wells Fargo and BofA was paying a laughable 0.01% APY, so how could I turn this offer down? I signed up for savings #4, got my $25 and I was introduced to the wonderful world of online savings accounts. I was hooked!
In April 2007, I learned about another promotional offer for $100 if I opened a Citibank Ultimate Savings Account online. Again, there didn't seem to be any catch and the APY was competitive with ING. I opened savings #5. (Ahhh. The good ol' days when Citibank was giving out money, not taking money.)
In November 2008, I learned about DollarSavingsDirect, who was offering 4% APY while other banks were paying approximately half. I enjoyed the thrill of rate-chasing, so I opened savings #6. Little did I know that the interest rates would plummet at all of the online banks in less than a year. But online banks still offer a much better rate than the bricks-and-mortar banks. I'm sticking with them.
Around the same time, I opened checking #3 with my local credit union. I was concerned that if I got laid off and didn't have additional direct deposits, I'd be charged monthly fees by Wells Fargo and BofA. The local credit union offered a true free checking account, so if and when I get laid off, I'm certain that I will close down checking #1 and checking #2 and start using checking #3 exclusively.
And finally, most recently, I opened savings #7 through Smarty Pig. This was partly due to my addiction to rate-chasing (currently 3.05% APY) and because I liked the whole Christmas Club-like plan it offered.
You're probably wondering, why don't I just close some of my accounts? I wondered about that too. And here's what I came up with:
- I'm lazy;
- I like having options, including ATM and branch accessibility;
- I'm lazy;
- In case any of my banks fail, I have the peace of mind that I have money accessible at other banks while I wait for FDIC or NCUA to make me whole;
- I'm lazy;
- I may be clinically insane;
- I have too much time on my hands;
- Did I mention I'm lazy?
I was planning to write the bizaare and complicated system I use to keep track of my money, but I realized it will take forever. Tomorrow, I'll write about my crazy system and my even crazier spreadsheet.
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