Afraid to Spend?

I have a strange problem. In 2007, I was given a $25 gift certificate to FYE, an online/brick-and-mortar entertainment media store that's membership based but also open to the public (without the membership discount). I haven't spent the $25 since I don't know what to buy.

I'm not particularly interested in any music album right now. None of the artists really grab my attention. (The decision would be so much easier if I was a tweenager swooning over Joe Jonas. *Sigh*) I also hate buying an entire album since more often than not, I'll only like 30% of the songs and the rest I'll be indifferent. I prefer buying my music one song at a time on iTunes. It may not be cost effective, but atleast I'm limiting my purchase to music I actually like.

And movie DVDs? Hmmm... I can't think of any movies I'd really like to own. I recall reading how this one guy used to spend thousands upon thousands of dollars buying DVDs. I wonder how often this guy watched the purchased DVDs? I bet not often.

I think the real problem here is not that I have nothing to buy. After all, most DVDs are priced under $25. I think the real problem is that I'm afraid to spend the $25; I'm afraid that I'm not going to maximize the utility and enjoyment out of this $25. If the gift was $25 in cash, I wouldn't be having this pointless internal debate - I'd put it in my savings account, put it in my Roth or buy Treasury Bonds with it.

I just can't believe I'm spending so much time over something so trivial. More worrisome is that perhaps I have become so miserly that I can't enjoy spending "found money" on something uselessly entertaining. That's a bad sign.

I'm just going to suck it up and spend it once and for all. For the past few weeks, I've been slowly watching a short-lived dramedy from 2004 called Wonderfalls on YouTube. It's a quirky and cute story based in Niagara Falls about a slacker Gen Y gal who is over-educated, under-employed and has a juvenile fear of personal relationships. Her life takes a positive, yet wacky, turn when inanimate objects with animal faces start talking to her and giving her vague orders to do things. (Oh. And the character's love interest is really cute. I can see that I'm already going down the path of cougardom.)

I'm feeling a bit guilty for watching something that may or may not be authorized. I'll atone by buying the DVD of the series' one and only season. And lucky me - it's right within my price range.