My “Dear John Letter” to Chase

Dear Chase:

For the past year, I’ve been thinking about leaving you in the near future. (June 2010, to be exact.)

But I've changed my mind. I'm leaving you -- now.

Things have been rough for you lately and it appears you don’t trust me anymore. (In fact, I hear you don’t trust anyone anymore. But that’s besides the point.)

You've probably always been concerned that I would one day leave you in a lurch. But please know that I would’ve only left you after I’ve lived up to my end of the bargain. But you wouldn’t know that based upon my spotty record, would you?

That’s why I forgive you for unilaterally altering our long standing deal. You agreed to keep the APR on my credit card at 5.99% until my balance is paid off. In exchange, I promised to make at least my minimum monthly payments on time, which I have religiously done so.

Nevertheless, starting this month, you’ve decided to charge me a $10/month service fee (subject to a much higher interest rate) and you increased my minimum payment from 2% to 5% of the balance. You may not have breached the terms of our original deal, but you’ve certainly violated the spirit.




When I asked for leniency, you said that you’ll reinstate the original arrangement of no monthly charges and 2% minimum payments, but at 7.99% APR.

I don’t blame you for doing this, Chase. You warned me that you were going to do this back in November via a Change in Term Notice that you surreptitiously slipped in my bill. It looked like other junk you’ve given me in the past, so I didn’t bother to read what you had to say. That's my fault.

And you’ve also been upfront about how I was expected to serve you at your convenience and on your terms. You’ve always made it clear that I never mattered.

Anyone with decent self-esteem would have told you to take a hike, but I was desperate when we started our relationship. When other people kicked me to the curb, you took a risk and gave me a chance with nothing other than my promise. At the time, I thought you were a benevolent prince. I now realize you were merely an enabler.

But the bottom line is, it’s not your fault that I was weak. You didn’t force me to take your money. I did that myself.

You probably don’t care, but I’m leaving you for BofA. (Kind’a like the way Holly Madison left Hugh Hefner for Criss Angel. ***Shudder***) BofA has been whispering sweet-nothings in my ear for a while and I now feel foolish for sticking by you all this time.

I know BofA is no better than you -- BoA’s already made demands (in the form of a hefty 3% transfer fee with no maximum cap) before BoA will accept me. My only consolation is that BofA won’t charge me interest for the next 10 months (or, until BofA changes its mind). But that’s okay -- I don’t intend to stay with BofA that much longer anyways.

I should’ve known you would do this to me. After all, as former Vice President Al Gore eloquently said, "A zebra doesn’t change its spots.".

I’ve come to accept the fact that our relationship was one of convenience, and not one of mutual respect.

I wish you the best. The next time you see me, I’ll no longer be a kept woman. As God is my witness, I’ll never allow myself to be beholden to someone like you ever again.

Good bye.

Yours truly,
Shtinkykat