Here’s a brief recap of my seriously disturbing history with Chase and my Ex (not Mr. Spock. He's one of the good ones.):
- CHASE: Wooed me with an awesome 5.99% APR until loan paid off deal. EX-BF: Wooed me with poems, dinner and chocolate.
- CHASE: Unitlaterally implemented monthly service charges. EX-BF: Unilaterally lowered the thermostat to arctic temps, kept toilet seats up and never replaced toilet paper.
- CHASE: Blackmailed me to make a 7.99% APR balance transfer to remove service charge. EX-BF: Blackmailed me to…. Ummmm… TMI. Never mind.
- CHASE: Gave’em the boot. EX-BF: Gave him the boot.
After the “Big Break-Up” , my ex had the gall to call me up weeks later to ask me, "Hey, do you want some special lovin'?" (Oh God, I think I swallowed my vomit then.)
In the same vein, I got a call from a telemarketer from Chase the other night. And no joke, the telemarketer asked, “As a valued customer of Chase Credit Cards, I am calling to see what we can do to improve our services to you?”
ARE YOU FREAKIN’ SERIOUS? Oh, man! This was my chance to give Chase a piece o’ my mind!
As I was preparing to lay my wrath upon the poor telemarketer, I remembered - - the guy is a working stiff just making a living. It's not like Jamie Dimon (CEO of Chase) called me.
I sucked it up and told the kid, "I cancelled my card and let me tell you why. Chase started charging me $10/month and boosted my minimum monthly payment to 5%. I know tons of people are ticked off by this. Good luck since I think you'll be dealing with tons of pissed off people."
The kid was surprised but said, "Uh... okay. Uhh... Thanks. Uhhh... have a good evening."
I'm still shaking my head. This is one of our better financial institutions, folks.